Another year

I registered for the next academic year 2 days back. At that time i was wondering that how many more brutal years I have to endure. But yes it was my own choice in the first place and academics is one thing in life that is really a source of happiness.
The challenge the excitement the solitude and yes the loneliness .There are so many facets. And yes this journey has made me realize the importance of learning and teaching in one way or another.
So the summer is almost at end. When vacations started I planned to improve the gre score but after knowing that the school of my choice does not need any gre score i whole endeavor went down the drain.
Today when bhai asked out of no where that why i had disposed of the idea of duke at end of day and i had no logical answer. Funding...you are doing bs.(bull shit ).
And yes the reality is that I do not want to go to usa any more. The reason is absolutely stupid and naive.
But yes then we all have reasons stupid or logical ones. I won’t even dream of crossing that state any more.
Life changes so many things...
and yes it is true that things which we do not plan happen at end of day. And now I am all my way for the bigger end. It is exciting but scary. Promising but lonely.
But then again ravs was right"every road does not lead to heart".
And I guess in this whole pursuit of knowledge I blocked that road even for the one who wanted to take it for me.
Regrets regrets and more regrets