random.....

What do you wanna prove?
She asked me again in a bit harsh manner.Nothing.i said silently.
Have you ever observed your life from the last 10 months? What do you want to prove by your non social attitude?
Nothing I said silently again.
She is ranting she is shouting she raises her voice making points and I am looking at the plate with cake crumbs which I had lavishly enjoyed with a cup of darkly brewed coffee another addiction west instilled in me.
Why are you doing this to you self saro?
Doing what?
I asked again?
With drawl..
From whom?
Life
Ahhh
I am trying my level best…
And what is this arrange marriage crap..
I know you do not want to get married.
You can not get married without reason and in your own word love is the only reason.
Love is illusion and I am out of it..
Please do not contradict yourself.
She starred again.
Am I in a court of law?
No..
You have to give explanation, why are you so non social and from when have you started offending people with this lethal wit of yours.
That poor girl was …
Was what
All dressed up and behaving as if she owns the world.
You know I hate these fake parties and more over the fake stuff..
Too judgmental..
No
Too pragmatic..
Socialize.
I do..
Well socialize in the own circle..
Not that activist circles of yours..
What do you want to prove that you are smart?
I am smart do not tell me this.
I reached so far...
Ya and now you are hurting people around you.
Just imagine when the guy will came to know you want to get married to have kids and just his name.
What’s wrong in that?
Every body does that?
If I am thinking this way then what?

And yes the argument continued leaving me to think that in which direction I am moving my life. half of our lives we think that we are smart and the other half we try proving to people around us that we are smart. I lived through dilemmas in my life. Studying subjects which were awe fully wrong falling in love with people and ambitions which were not mine.
And now when every thing is in right place in my idea it is all messed up for people around me.
First a career and a degree were important. Now a trophy man is needed.
And yes I want life on my own. On my own terms and on my own wishes and yes on the idea of what I believe not on what others do…I do not know there are just grey zones ahead.