Turmoil....

When are you coming back,ravs called at almost 5 evening.25th I guess .I answered back.Do n't you miss home?
Home?
I know she was referring to our abode which we both leased a year back. It is so strange to have your own house, to pay your own bills and to enter its loneliness at end of day.
I realized that I started liking the lifestyle when I shifted back to amman;s place few months back.
The noise of family was too much some times.
Too sensitive, she commented one day.
But now I realize that I am going through a real dilemma. I am so much use to my loneliness and independence that the whole idea of sharing my life with some one is overwhelming.
It is just as some one entering your comfort zone and asking space. Talk to him he is good,my mom pleaded in evening.
All guys are good what should I talk to him?
Same old nonsense?
She was silent knowing that I am really hardheaded at times.
But yes I do not know in which direction I am moving my life. I am afraid of settled life and domestication is too appeasing.
The only time when the idea of marriage clicks is when I see kids running and playing in the park.
But again this is no reason to play with some ones emotion. Marriage is a plant which needs commitment and love.
And ravs is right, I am afraid to love. And I am afraid to forget love.
Some scars need a life time to heal.