One crazy week....

It has been a crazy week. The news media, family gossip machines every thing was churning news which were going on my nerves.
Amman is upset on the fact that she came to know it so later, but I feel so lighted on knowing all the facts now in one way. Life is so funny at times.
Insomnia is back, and I spend most of my nights going through open and close door policies in china. I am amazed on the fact that how a research proposal on comparative economic systems is ending up to be a whole synopsis of international trade scene. Ironically I hate international trade but being a macro economist you have to endure all the crap.
So the news was not new. I was waiting for it from so many months and it did not make any effect what so ever emotionally. I am numb.
I guess I am over with making shrines I made out of stupid memories and weeping on them. Or the past few years have changed me more from a conventional woman to a blatantly independent woman.
The whole scenario was not at all disturbing. I guess I am over with the teenage crush. And assuming that it s love which I nurtured over years in some darkened chamber.
Hoping that things will come on my terms. But they never did, they never could have..
and i in my romantic idyllic world assumed stuff which was never suppose to happen.
I should have known that I will always be a small town girl, simple rigid. The girl he saw in kitchen making chapattis on vacations.
But then again i am not the woman he rejected 2 years back. So it was an ego war. And that ego war changed so much.
I have a bright career in front and yes i have proved to people academically and socially that yes I am smart..(what a dilemma you have to prove with your transcripts that you are able).
I better bury the ghosts of the past. Or i guess happiness and life only demand this from me..